


touch me, tease me, feel me up

by stonerimie



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: ATEEZ - Freeform, Angst, Blowjobs, Collar, Dates, Dom Seonghwa, Established Relationship, Insecurity, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mild Pet Play, Mommy Kink, Mommy Seonghwa, NSFW, Palming, Pet Play, Praise, Praise Kink, Smut, They're cute, but she's finally done, collaring, date, hand holding, i spent so much time on it, leash, mentions of blowjobs, mild anxiety, puppy hongjoong, slight angst, snow date, stressed out hongjoong, sub hongjoong, thigh humping, touch starved hongjoong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:48:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23312614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonerimie/pseuds/stonerimie
Summary: For a moment he felt like he couldn’t breathe, hugging his bunny closer for a second before he relaxed his muscles again. “C-could I maybe sleep here, just for tonight?” His mind was begging for Seonghwa to say no, his body was buzzing with need.The older lifted the covers, inviting Hongjoong to join him in the bed and watching as the small boy crawled near him. “Do you want to talk about it?” Seonghwa wondered, keeping his distance because it was already rare for Hongjoong to come there and he didn’t want to push him.“Can you hold me?” Hongjoong asked in a wave of bravery, closing his eyes after so he wouldn’t have to see Seonghwa’s silhouette. “S-sorry. I just- just need to be touched.”
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 12
Kudos: 316





	touch me, tease me, feel me up

Hongjoong didn’t know what was wrong. Something in his body was itching, like he was missing something and he couldn’t seem to figure out what it was. No matter how he tried to distract himself; writing lyrics, taking a shower and even going for a walk. It didn’t help.

So, much like any other person would, he searched what was wrong. He went through countless websites, refusing to acknowledge that any of them were right. He didn’t want them to be right.

For as much as he could, Hongjoong was independent. When there was something wrong he kept it to himself until it went past and then never talked about it. All his worries and all of his stress was only shared with himself.

But the websites were telling him the exact opposite. A few moments later he was taking a quiz. ‘Are you touch starved?’ He felt stupid taking it, stupid that he didn’t know what was wrong without needing to fill in a list of questions.

Yet he followed the quiz neatly, filling in the answers with a gentle pout pulling the corners of his mouth down. He submitted his answers and the website took a moment to load. He expected some detailed explanation, but he just got a simple ‘yes’.

Hongjoong frowned, snapping the laptop shut to get the answer away from him. He refused, he could never be touch starved. He received hugs and kisses regularly, right? Right..?

No. Completely wrong. He shut himself out of physical contact, swearing that he didn’t like it and the members respecting his preference. Whenever he had seen them cuddled up together he had taken the feeling in his stomach as nerves for a performance rather than envy every time. 

It was rare for him to even brush against them when reaching for something, rare for him to brush hands when they stood too close. He had been avoiding all physical contact, and he hadn’t even noticed his own distancing. 

‘What can I do about this?’ He searched, after he had found the courage to open his laptop again. There was one simple answer spread no matter where he looked; contact. He was told he needed to receive or give affection, as long as he got it. 

So now that he knew that, how was he supposed to do it? After being so insistent on avoiding all touch for months, it would be weird for him to suddenly ask them to be all over him. It seemed uncomfortable.

Yet his skin itched in a good way when he imagined it, his heart skipped a beat when he thought about it thoroughly. He would like it a lot, to be babied for a little. Whether it would be one simple brush of fingers through his hair or a full on cuddle session. 

He didn’t want to be mean, but there was only one person he would feel comfortable enough to ask for it. The one who still placed a light hand on his back for support every now and then and held his shoulder when he was about to lose his balance. 

Park Seonghwa. 

And then his mind really started running wild. He imagined himself in between the older’s arms and imagined how Seonghwa would pepper kisses over his face like he had seen him do to the others. He could see their fingers twisted together in his mind and almost feel his hand in his hair if he thought about it hard enough. 

But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. After all that Seonghwa already did for him, he simply couldn’t ask for it. 

Once more, he closed his laptop. He crawled in his bed with the slightly empty feeling still lingering and tossed and turned for a while before he was even able to fall asleep. 

+

He woke up again at around two in the morning, sitting up in his bed and his hand searching around emptily. It took a moment before he realised what he was searching for, or rather who. Seonghwa, he needed Seonghwa right now more than ever. 

The boy hoisted himself out of bed, took a small stuffed bunny with him tucked under his arm as he stumbled through the completely dark dorms, holding the wall. His feet scuffed the floor, almost as if they were trying to hold him back from going to his room. 

Seonghwa was still awake, scrolling on his phone with his earbuds plugged in as he quietly chuckled at some of the posts he saw. When Hongjoong opened the door it immediately caught the older’s attention. 

He took one of the earbuds out, paused his video and popped himself up on his elbows. “Is there something wrong, Joong?"

For a moment he felt like he couldn’t breathe, hugging his bunny closer for a second before he relaxed his muscles again. “C-could I maybe sleep here, just for tonight?” His mind was begging for Seonghwa to say no, his body was buzzing with need. 

The older lifted the covers, inviting Hongjoong to join him in the bed and watching as the small boy crawled near him. “Do you want to talk about it?” Seonghwa wondered, keeping his distance because it was already rare for Hongjoong to come there and he didn’t want to push him.

“Can you hold me?” Hongjoong asked in a wave of bravery, closing his eyes after so he wouldn’t have to see Seonghwa’s silhouette. “S-sorry. I just- just need to be touched.”

Seonghwa didn’t say a word, putting his phone away and then reaching out to pull him into his arms. “Of course,” He whispered, letting Hongjoong snuggle against his chest and feeling his heart warm at how small he seemed. “You can sleep whenever you feel yourself going, I’ll just keep holding you.”

+

Hongjoong felt a little bit better after that night, the itching reduced a little. But it definitely hadn’t disappeared, it was still right there and keeping him down, dragging him to the floor. He was humiliated that he had gone to Seonghwa in such a state. He didn’t even know how the other felt about it, they hadn’t said a word when they woke up. 

But now he was glaring as he watched Yunho give a quick peck to Wooyoung, how he watched Wooyoung accept it because it was such a normal action. Affection was normal, Hongjoong wasn’t.

He felt a light tap on his shoulder and jerked out of the trance he had found himself in on accident. Seonghwa, again. “Are you okay?” He asked. “There seems to be something on your mind.”

“It’s nothing,” Hongjoong disregarded, looking away from the gentle features. He didn’t want to see it, he would be too easy to break if he kept looking at Seonghwa. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Somehow his voice had turned a little raspy, a slight wetness in his eyes that he couldn’t recognise. He lifted his head to meet his own gaze in the reflection on the microwave, he was crying. 

“Do you want to go somewhere private?” Seonghwa whispered, watching how he seemed mesmerised with his own wet face. The older lightly grabbed his arm, helped him up from the chair. “Come on.”

+

Hongjoong had found,,, something. Videos. Videos of people kissing and cuddling, making it seem so appealing. He studied the way their lips moved together and how their bodies intertwined. 

There was only one thought in his mind as he watched it over and over again. He wanted that. He wanted to try every way there was to kiss and he wanted to cuddle in any position possible. He craved it. 

Even though he had meant to watch the videos purely to know what it was light, he couldn’t help himself from getting turned on by it. He slipped his hand inside his underwear and stroked himself at a normal pace right from the start. 

It was nothing special, just him trying to get rid of the disturbance as quick as he could, switching to his more usual porn with annoying moans and artificial dialogue. But it was fine, Hongjoong never needed the lovey dovey ones.

Yet no matter how long he kept stroking himself and how good his hand felt, his orgasm never seemed to roll forward. There was nothing in his stomach, not even the slightest hint of tightening inside. 

He sighed, dropping his hand and searching his drawer. In a quick few movements he took the fleshlight, lubed it up, shoved down his underwear and put the toy on himself. Overstimulating overstimulating overstimulating. He could never use the toy, it was simply too much.

But he needed to feel something, he needed more than just his hand and he needed to cum so bad because his erection was hurting with how hard he was. His hips bucked into the toy without his control, head throwing back and not even having the power to reach out and get the video to continue playing. 

And then he imagined Seonghwa again, he closed his eyes and could see the older hovering over him, grinning at him as he overstimulated his cock. He could almost feel a soft kiss being pressed to his lips and then being trailed down until Seonghwa sucked on his neck. 

Hongjoong thought about Seonghwa’s scent, about how delicious he smelled whenever he got close and how good it would be if he was swarmed by it as the older hovered over him. He wanted to get drunk on it.

Without any warning from his body he came, a slight hint of regret that he hadn’t taken off the toy in time stinging in the back of his mind but his climax hitting him too hard to be bothered about it. 

Only after did he realise that just thinking about the older had managed to make him cum without even needing to do anything. He realised that maybe his feelings for Seonghwa were a bit different from what he had initially thought they were. 

+

He went a while with avoiding Seonghwa as much he possibly could, he simply couldn’t look at the older without remembering his own thoughts. Even if he entered a room where Seonghwa had previously been and he could still smell traces of his presence, he needed to live. 

But time did it’s job like always, forcing them back together more and more often. Hongjoong missed Seonghwa, a lot. He missed his warm smile and his gentle eyes and everything that made him,,, Seonghwa. 

And when the older was over something, he would show. He made sure Hongjoong was alone in the kitchen before he closed the door, blocking him from exiting. Immediately the other looked panicked. 

Hongjoong tried to find an escape, but Seonghwa dashed forward and press him against the counter, hands on either side and body pinning him against it. He was trapped, and it shouldn’t feel that good. 

Seonghwa’s scent shouldn’t make his head spin like that and the position shouldn’t make him so dizzy. “Hwa.” He whispered, all other words disappeared from his mind. He didn’t know what to say in this situation. 

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa whispered, calm and intoxicating as always. He pressed even closer to Hongjoong when he relaxed, realising the boy wouldn’t try to escape. “I didn’t mean to, but I saw what you’ve been searching for on your laptop. You should’ve told me.”

The boy shrinks in on himself at the scolding, disappointed now that Seonghwa was. “You weren’t supposed to know,” He tried. “I’ve been alone for a while, it should be fine.”

“That is exactly the problem,” The older explained, gaze following behind him to try and meet his eyes no matter how much he looked away. “You’ve resisted it for so long that you don’t realise how much your body is responding to me now.”

Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows at the words before he looked down with a gasp, watching where he had grown hard and how he was pressing against Seonghwa’s thigh. “I-I’m so sorry, Hwa!”

“Don’t be,” Seonghwa denied, taking his thigh back now that he knew he realised it and not wanting to bother him. “It’s understandable. I would, too.”

“Please let me go,” Hongjoong trembled, scared. He had probably never been this scared. Not when he had to give a presentation in front of 100 people, not when he had his first concert. It was right now. “I’m sorry.”

Seonghwa did, moving away to release him from the hold. The younger immediately dashed away, biting his bottom lip harshly as he got to the bathroom and took a cold shower. He marvelled with the sudden shock of cold against his skin, sighing deeply. 

+

They were a little bit drunk. Maybe a lot drunk. Hongjoong couldn’t look anywhere without his vision wobbling like heat waves and Seonghwa was even gigglier than usual. But at least they were safe, at home and secluded. 

Hongjoong kept getting dangerously close to him, constantly leaning forward when he laughed and his eyes shining. He looked beautiful. His messed up hair and his rosy cheeks, his slightly glassy eyes. 

After all, Seonghwa only had a certain amount of self-restraint. The next time Hongjoong leaned forward in a laughing fit he was quick to catch his face. Hongjoong’s laughing died down until he was staring at him with big eyes.

“What are you doing, Hwa?” He asked, his voice soft and shy yet unable to take his eyes away from Seonghwa’s face. The other kept staring back at him with the exact same tension. “H-Hwa?”

Seonghwa leaned forward, Hongjoong closing his eyes in fear if it wasn’t for the excitement running through his veins. He was going to get kissed, for the first time in years. He was sure of it, he was sure he’d feel the other’s lips on his own within the next few seconds.

There was a kiss placed right on the tip of his nose. 

One simple peck that anyone could give him, a peck that was almost disappointing. But it was good for Hongjoong, so good to have someone kiss him anywhere. So good to feel the slight tickle of lips lasting on his skin and so good to replay it in his head. “More.” He breathed.

“Should I?” Seonghwa teased, Hongjoong too sensitive from the use of alcohol and whining sweetly, hand moving up to grab the older’s wrist as his hand was still planted on his face. “You should ask me politely, don’t you think?”

Hongjoong shook his head, pouting to try and convince him. He was too shy to ask for more, he didn’t want to have to ask. And he was overwhelmed; just from a simple peck to his nose. It made him feel stupid. 

In his anger he just pushed Seonghwa back, scowled at him and got up on his wobbly legs only to fall down a few metres walking later. “God fucking damnit!” He shouted empitly, bringing his fist down on the floor and trying to push himself up. 

Of course he failed, going straight down to the floor again and deciding that he would just crawl to his room instead. Tears had started pouring down his face, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care about it. 

Arms wrapped around him and he was lifted just like that, in Seonghwa’s arms again. A bit more of a struggle and the older managed to lift him in a bridal carry, looking straight ahead and bringing him to his room. “I’m not avoiding you cause I’m angry, it just breaks my heart to see you cry.”

The smaller stayed quiet, sighing softly when he was laid down on his bed and Seonghwa tucked him in. Right when Seonghwa was about to walk away, Hongjoong grabbed his wrist in a panic. “Sleep with me, please?”

+

Hongjoong wasn’t sure if this was considered a date or not. Technically, Seonghwa did ask him to come along for coffee. Technically, Seonghwa was going to pay for both of their orders. Realistically, Seonghwa would never see him like that. 

But he could almost convince himself with the soft smiles Seonghwa kept giving him. With the way he had gently grabbed his hand where Hongjoong had honestly just meant for it to casually rest on top of the table. 

And he was flustered. His face was an unknown shade of red and he kept looking down to hide his hot cheeks. The next time he looked up, Seonghwa was holding out his fork with a bit of the cake on it. 

Seonghwa’s fork. Which he had eaten from. That had been in his mouth and had gotten to feel the surface of his tongue. Hongjoong almost glared at the fork, he envied it for getting to touch the older like that before him. 

“You should taste it,” Seonghwa suggested, Hongjoong opening his mouth now that he finally understood the obvious intentions. He took the fork as far as he could, Seonghwa’s fork. He moaned softly, not for the reason anyone would think. “Good, right?”

He quickly drew back once he realised what sound he had made, just nodding and clasping his hands together for a moment under the table. “It’s good.” 

“Not gonna give me any of yours?” The older mocked, Hongjoong looking up in a panic and quickly cutting off part of his own cake. His fork, which had been in his mouth and that Seonghwa would eat off. He was definitely overthinking this. “Oh, hold on. You have a little-”

Seonghwa reached out, thumb swiping over Hongjoong’s cheek to wipe off whatever was on it and having him struggling not to let his eyes flutter shut. He was lucky he didn’t close them, or he wouldn’t have seen Seonghwa hold his thumb in front of his mouth.

Hongjoong barely even took a moment to think as he took it into his mouth, sucking off the substance eagerly and unable to keep his eyes open any longer. It was weird, it was good. He shouldn’t be doing this in public, he shouldn’t be sucking on someone’s fingers when he’s so attracted to them. 

The older pulled his thumb back gently, wanting him to know that he didn’t do it because he didn’t like it but purely because it was in public and he didn’t want Hongjoong to feel embarrassed later. 

In the action, Hongjoong had dropped the fork, the cake laying uselessly on his plate, only half of it still left on its teeth. His cheeks were flushed differently now, still a bit of saliva left to slick up his lips and his eyes hooded slightly. 

“Let’s go home, yeah?” Seonghwa smiled, cleaning his wet finger on his pants. “We can take the cake with us, but I don’t want you to be here in this state.”

+

Hongjoong didn’t say a word. Seonghwa was sitting on the couch and he had only one goal. As long as he could get to Seonghwa, it would be fine. From that point on he wouldn’t have to worry about anything. 

So he quite literally stormed at him, quick steps to get closer and then letting himself fall on top of his legs, trying to straddle his legs but mumbling a little too far so that he almost kicked himself in the face. 

In a quick reflex, Seonghwa caught him. “A tornado!” He mused, helping Hongjoong sit up in the position he had originally intended to sit down in, his legs on either side of Seonghwa’s. “You want cuddles?”

The younger hid his face in his neck, trademark blush flaunting on his cheeks again as he nodded against him, whimpering softly because Seonghwa’s hands on his back were so overwhelming. 

Without a word, Seonghwa just kept roaming his hands over his back calmly, slipping under his shirt and shushing him as he traced his nails over the warm skin. “Do you need to stop, baby?” Seonghwa wondered. “This is a lot for you, hm?”

Hongjoong shook his head, hips rolling without him meaning to because the touch felt so good that he only had one way to show it. “Please, please.” He kept whimpering, not having an idea what he was asking for. 

At one point he finally pulled his head back from his neck, staring down at Seonghwa with the most fucked-out expression he had ever seen. Seonghwa smiled at him and Hongjoong couldn’t withstand it. 

He threw all sense out of the window, all of his doubts and thoughts about how Seonghwa didn’t like him as he ducked down and connected their lips. It was messy, from Hongjoong’s side. 

The poor boy was drooling and panting against Seonghwa’s mouth while the older responded with languid licks from his tongue. His hands had moved to hold Hongjoong’s waist, gentle and guiding. 

Seonghwa pulled back and Hongjoong dropped his head against his shoulder, panting and sobbing at the contact and the affection. It almost hurt with how much he loved it, still subconsciously grinding against his lap. 

It broke the older’s heart a little; to watch him be so out of control of his movements that he resorted to crying. “You’re okay, Joongie.” He promised, continuing to shush him and grabbing his hips to help him slow down. 

+

“Let’s go for a walk,” Seonghwa invited, Hongjoong just agreeing and letting the older help him into his coat despite his cheeks heating up again. “Just you and me.”

They went to the woods, taking slow steps because Hongjoong couldn’t walk very fast with his emotional instability lately. Seonghwa reached out, gently grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers so he could squeeze softly. 

“It’s beautiful, hm?” The older wondered, continuing to stroll along the path with him. “You fit in perfectly here, a beautiful sun boy with all the trees.”

Hongjoong looked away, not wanting Seonghwa to see the way he got flustered just from the hold on his hand. Stupid stupid stupid, it was so stupid. “It’s nice.” He whispered, his voice a little hoarse.

A little while later and they finally made it to the spot Seonghwa intended to. He took a chance and threw Hongjoong back, tumbling along with him and safely landing into a pile of leaves. 

The younger squealed and giggled, gripping onto his shoulders. His nose and cheeks were red from both the cold and how shy he was and his lips slightly chapped. “What are you doing!” He cried out, smile never even hinting at disappearing from his face. 

Seonghwa leaned down, still having him pushed into the leaves as he connected their lips. He was the one guiding it now, keeping it light and wholesome. The man only moved slightly, poked his tongue out to get Hongjoong to open his mouth and then brushed their tongues together gently. 

He reached up, wrapping his arms around Seonghwa’s neck to deepen the kiss, already starting to pant into it. It was the older’s clue to pull back, just hover above him and watch how Hongjoong tried to catch his breath. 

It was torture for the younger. Constantly being teased by the light touches and then having them completely taken away. He grew frustrated with it, yet he let Seonghwa lift him out of the pillow of leaves and they kept walking together. 

  
  


+

A few days later and it was problematic. Even though previously he just needed to think about Seonghwa while getting off, he had lost that ability too. He knew why it was; he needed the older to be there in person now. 

He wanted Seonghwa’s hand wrapped around him and he needed his hand close. He couldn’t drive himself over the edge without having Seonghwa close.

So he did the worst thing he possibly could. He sat against Seonghwa’s door as he jerked off. He could hear him practicing his vocals, could hear him move as he walked through the room. 

It turned him on more than anything else, to know that at any given time the door behind him could be opened and he would be caught. He felt like a pervert, but he kind of liked that. He imagined Seonghwa calling him a pervert for always getting so worked up over nothing. He took anything he could repeat in his mind. 

And then he heard Seonghwa’s bed creak, heard him move around and accidentally slam his elbow into the wall and then soon after he could hear a soft groan. Seonghwa was jerking off.

They were both jerking off, right on the other sides of the wall. Hongjoong pressed his ear against the door, listening to the sinful sounds and feeling a sense of guilt in his stomach. He brought his hand to his mouth, biting into it so he could stifle his noises.

He twisted his hand over himself, squeezed a little too hard when he lost his ability to realise proportion. He was dumb, he didn’t know how much was good. He didn’t know anything. 

Hongjoong couldn’t think when his thoughts were just filled with Seonghwa. Seonghwa, who he longed for so deeply. Seonghwa, who smelled so good and gave him such a sweet treatment no matter what. He came, yet he barely even gave himself time to come out of it before he stood up. 

Without thinking, he grabbed the door handle. He pressed down on it lightly, watched it droop under the force of his hand slowly and could only hear the noise from inside the room. He pressed further, the door about to open if he kept pushing for only half a second.

And he let go. The handle sprang back up and he ran on his wobbly legs, fleeing to his own room and hiding under the sheets with a damp spot still growing in his pants. He just hid, for as long as he could. 

+

  
  


Hongjoong had somewhat allowed Seonghwa to get close. When he was making breakfast for himself and Seonghwa wrapped his arms around him from the back, he didn’t mind. When Seonghwa kept doing it every morning, he didn’t mind. When he even added soft kisses on his neck, he did mind it a lot.

The kisses left him shivering, he needed to hold the counter for balance whenever he gave him the soft pecks. His legs started shaking and his breath sped up as Seonghwa just kept his path of kisses. 

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa whispered, right next to his ear before placing a kiss behind the shell. Hongjoong hated this, he promised he did. “I’ve got you, Joongie.”

Which broke him, those few words. That promise. Nobody had told him that before, ever in his life. There had been substitutes for it, but never those words. He melted back against Seonghwa, he felt safe like that. 

“Please,” He asked, although it sounded different from all the other times he had already begged for the older. “I-I need to tell you something.” So that was it, there was something wrong. 

Seonghwa hummed, letting him go from the hug so Hongjoong could turn around. “Is there something wrong?” The older wondered, figuring there had been something on his mind but not wanting to force it out. “You can tell me anything.”

“Could you please close your eyes?” Hongjoong requested, watching as he immediately did as asked, sighing to try and breathe out his nerves. He took a shy hold on Seonghwa’s hand, rubbing his thumbs over the surface. “I can’t stop thinking about you, I-I really like you. I’m sorry.”

The older opened his eyes, grinning so that Hongjoong squealed and placed his hand over Seonghwa’s eyes, trying to stop them from looking at him yet knowing he was perfectly able to watch through the gaps in his fingers. 

He raised his hand, grabbing Hongjoong’s wrist and gently pulling his hand away from his face. “You like me, hm? That’s good,” He mused. “I really like you too, baby. Because of a lot of things.”

“Does this mean I get a kiss now?” The younger suggested shyly, Seonghwa chuckling and connecting their lips for a brief second. “This is really fun!”

“I’m just gonna give you a lot of kisses from now on so you can get used to those, okay?” Seonghwa smiled. “Even though you look really pretty, I can’t stand to see you cry every time we kiss.”

“O-okay,” Hongjoong agreed, giggling when another kiss was placed on his lips. “You have very nice lips.” He complimented in a mumble. 

“Thank you, baby,” Seonghwa smiled, giving him another quick kiss and cocking his head to the side a little after. He was studying Hongjoong’s face. “You’re one to talk, though.”

+

Seonghwa had followed up on his promise, constantly giving him kisses in whatever moment he could. He would suddenly pull Hongjoong in his arms and give him a lingering kiss that left him waiting for more or he’d wake him up with a quick peck that left him longing for what was next. 

With every kiss, he became more whiny. He kept trying to cling onto Seonghwa after every kiss and always chased after his lips. He’d pout when the older denied him another kiss, would throw a tantrum and pretend to be angry.

“Come on, baby,” Seonghwa would coo if he turned away again, lightly pulling at Hongjoong’s body to try and convince him into rolling over. “I’ll give you more later, if you’re good for me now.”

It was tempting. They had never really discussed things like that before. What it meant to be good or bad and how Hongjoong could make sure he would be good in Seonghwa’s eyes. The conversation would have to be started by the older, seeing as he was way too shy to talk about anything like that. 

But he knew he wanted to be good for Seonghwa. He knew that he wanted to hear the older to call him good, that he wanted him to be proud and gush over small efforts. He needed for Seonghwa to praise him when he listened well. He needed it.

“Hwa?” Hongjoong asked softly, turning back so he could look at Seonghwa’s face. He had grown a habit of feeling more comfortable whenever he saw his face, yet he still looked away before asking what he wanted. “C-could you maybe call me your good boy? Just this once?”

Seonghwa smiled, he had expected for it to be something way worse, something he wouldn’t be able to do. He crouched down, putting his hand in his hair and brushing through the strands, watching Hongjoong close his eyes at the touch. “So good, hm? My good boy.”

Getting to watch Hongjoong’s reaction was probably one of the best things ever. His cheeks turned bright red and he trembled a little, eyes shutting tighter so the skin beside them crinkled up. His hands lightly clenched his own sweater as he sighed out a satisfied breath. 

“You must like that,” Seonghwa noted, more so he would remember it himself rather than wanting to tease his boyfriend. “You like being a good boy for me, don’t you?”

Hongjoong’s breath hitched again, opening his eyes now that he was unprepared for the second time he said it. “H-Hwa-” He stammered, not really knowing how else to respond to it. He should say yes seeing as that was the only fit answer, but he couldn’t. 

“Don’t worry about it,” The older shushed, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek now that he had access to it. “If you can’t speak because you’re shy, that’s okay. You’ll always be my good boy.”

+

The way Hongjoong couldn’t get off without Seonghwa was starting to become a problem. They had never gone further than at most a ‘make-out’ that barely deserved that title. He hadn’t been able to cum for days, and it was a huge bother. 

But how was he supposed to tell Seonghwa. How was he supposed to walk up to him and just ask him if he could jerk him off because he could no longer get to his climax without his help. 

It was simply impossible. No matter how many attempts he had made to say it, he always backed out at the last second. He always made an excuse, morphed his words to create a completely different sentence. 

Seonghwa was holding him in his arms, Hongjoong having his face pressed against his chest and breathing in his favourite scent in the world. Seonghwa was comfort, he had become home. 

He didn’t understand why he was still so shy for that very reason. If Seonghwa was the person he felt the most comfortable with, then why was he still unable to speak his mind. He figured he’d try something else.

As long as he was too shy to say anything, he should just show it. Seonghwa’s thigh was slotted between his leg and he couldn’t stop himself from shyly pushing his hips against the muscle. 

Even though Seonghwa noticed, he didn’t say a word. He just readjusted his hold on Hongjoong’s back to help him out as the younger kept rolling his hips against his thigh. He was really convinced that Seonghwa had no idea what he was doing. 

The boy was panting and moaning softly against his chest, still believing Seonghwa didn’t know even if his hips were now quickly rolling against his thigh. “H-Hwa-” He moaned, small hands gripping at Seonghwa’s hoodie and balling it into his fists. 

“I know,” Seonghwa cooed, pushing his thigh up a little to be closer, giving him just a little more stimulation and hearing Hongjoong’s little sobs and hiccups. “You feel so good, hm? Being such a good boy.”

Hongjoong’s sobs only grew heavier as he kept going, pushing his face even closer against Seonghwa to breathe in his scent, feeling his orgasm start to build up in his abdomen faster than it had in the last few years.

The boy came in his pants, hips stuttering against Seonghwa’s thighs and biting in the material under his face harshly, moaning and shaking with how hard it rocked into him. “F-fuck, Seonghwa.”

+

Hongjoong was freaking out. Seonghwa was on top of him, making out with him slowly as one hand held his waist and he was feeling completely messed up. 

Seonghwa pulled back from the kiss, shushing him with little tuts and pressing kisses down his face in a trail to his neck. Just like Hongjoong had imagined a while ago, like he had wanted it to be. 

Why was he so overwhelmed by it now? If it was what he wanted, why was he struggling to accept it so much. Why was he struggling to breathe just from a few pecks to his neck. Why couldn’t he just tell Seonghwa that he needed a moment longer to process everything?

The older had already noticed, taking some more distance so he could give him some space to breathe. “I’ve got you, baby,” Seonghwa promised, caressing him ever so gently. “Breathe for me, okay? I’m right here.”

Even though he nodded, his gaze still remained unfocussed. There were tears going down his temples and Seonghwa would feel guilty if he didn’t know that Hongjoong struggled with touch in general. 

Still, every sniffle and sob tugged on his heartstrings, made him wish the boy could just stop crying already so he wouldn’t have to be so sad. “Hey, puppy,” Seonghwa called, immediately pulling his attention with the new title. “It’s okay, I promise.”

Hongjoong reached up, circling his arms around his neck and pulling him down far enough until he could hide his face against him. He cried quietly, breathing Seonghwa in again and finally rediscovering the comfort it offered. 

“Puppy,” Hongjoong whispered, as a confirmation to himself that the older had really called him that. There were many ways he could’ve misheard it, but he knew that this would be the only word that made sense. “Me?”

“Yes, you,” Seonghwa confirmed, smiling at him softly and gently holding his waist. He seduced Hongjoong all over again with something as simple as a smile. “You’re my puppy.”

The younger giggled softly, letting Seonghwa go from the hold lightly so he could give him a light peck on his lips. “Mo- Hwa’s puppy!” He exclaimed, catching himself off guard a little and feeling like he was floating somewhat.

Seonghwa was a lot clearer with everything; He said what he wanted when he wanted it. “Mommy’s puppy, hm?” The older teased, a certain fondness wrapped around his voice to protect Hongjoong. “Is that what you were going to say?”

He let his arms drop from his neck to hide his face behind his hands instead. “M- y-yeah,”  Hongjoong confessed in a shy voice. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, lovely,” Seonghwa denied, giving him a brief kiss on the cheek. He had a sudden urge to protect him that he hadn’t felt before, changing his posture as he hovered over him. “I like it, okay? I want to be your mommy if you're a puppy.”

+

“What is that?” Hongjoong wondered, pointing at the item Seonghwa held in his hand. The subject of him being a puppy had drifted by a few times, but they never took time to elaborately talk about it. 

“A collar,” The older explained casually, adoring the way Hongjoong’s posture straightened out in alertness. “And a leash, if you’re comfortable with either of those. You’re my puppy, hm? You shouldn’t be going everywhere without guidance.”

“You bought it for me?” He wondered again, somehow extremely flattered by the gift and tilting his head back as an invite for him to put it on. “A-are you sure it fits?” He subtly hinted, swallowing thickly enough for his adam’s apple to bob. 

Seonghwa smiled knowingly, taking apart the collar so he could put it around his neck and then securing it again. It was a comfortable, black band with a single ring in the front of it. Without having to think about it too much, he knew it was made to be pulled on.

The older leaned back and genuinely gasped at the sight, Hongjoong looking up at him with big eyes. His hair was still slightly messed up from the nap he had taken earlier and the collar contrasted beautifully against his skin. 

“Do you like it?” Seonghwa wondered, able to tell from his reactions but wanting to hear him say it just in case. While he waited for the answer, he clipped the leash onto the ring. “You like being collared by mommy?”

Hongjoong nodded, jerking forward slightly when Seonghwa pulled on the leash to test it, the younger whining in a soft protest. “M-mommy!” He whimpered, worried that he did something wrong that got him the pull.

“I was just testing it, baby,” The older promised, shushing him gently and readjusting his hold on the leash to be a little more careful. “You do look cute like that though, crying out for your mommy to come help.” 

Hongjoong whined softly again, not even needing to be on his knees for the height difference to be intimidating, standing close to Seonghwa for protection even if he was the one that was creating his mild anxiety. 

“Puppy doesn’t wanna disappoint mommy,” Hongjoong whispered, restraining himself from hiding in his chest again because he couldn’t stop running away from every single thing he did.. “W-wanna be a good boy, really bad.”

“You are,” Seonghwa pressed, holding the leash tight again in ownership and leaning down to kiss his forehead. Hongjoong closed his eyes at the gentle action, sighing softly. “You’re my good boy, don’t ever doubt it.”

+

“Hwa,” Hongjoong whispered, it was practically the middle of the night, but he was standing over Seonghwa’s lying form on all fours. The darkness of the room gave him a sense of courage. “Are you awake?”

Seonghwa hummed in response, hands moving for a moment before realising he was restrained by the duvet as the younger was sat on top of it. “Why are you awake, puppy? Did you have a nightmare?”

“No,” The boy denied, only realising how close their faces were now that he could feel Seonghwa’s breath on his face, fanning against it. “I-I want you, Hwa. Please? Let me suck you off?”

“What?” He asked, sitting up and causing Hongjoong to lean back with the movement. The male seemed somewhat worried with the sudden statement. “I think I misunderstood, what did you say?”

“Please let me suck you off,” Hongjoong repeated, growing a little insecure of the suggestion after seeing Seonghwa’s reaction. He pawed at his crotch as a distraction, as a way to convince him. “It’s a normal boyfriend action, I really want to.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Seonghwa asked, Hongjoong ignored him as he drew back the covers and tried to get him out of his underwear, stopped by the older’s hands clasping over his. “I don’t want you to do this, not right now.”

He got rejected. Oh god, he tried to make a move and he got rejected. Tears were welling in his eyes and before he knew it they were going down his face. “I’m sorry!” He apologised frantically, scrambling to get to the other side of the bed because he was simply disgusted with himself. 

“Oh, baby,” The older cooed, trying to beckon him closer. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just think we should do these type of things when it’s not the middle of the night, so you can think clearly.”

Hongjoong couldn’t think properly, his own thoughts shouting at him that he had done something really bad, that he had disappointed Seonghwa exactly the way he had feared he would. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, Hwa.”

“Puppy, come here,” Seonghwa suggested sweetly, sounding like an angry command to Hongjoong’s sensitive thoughts. He shyly crawled over, squawking when he was pulled into his lap. “Everything’s okay, I’m not angry.”

“But I- And you didn’t want to-'' He stammered, cut off when Seonghwa grabbed his chin in a tight hold and smashed their lips together, making sure Hongjoong would understand and too sleepy to remember how sensitive the boy always was. 

“I told you it was okay, yes?” The older pressed when he disconnected their lips, left Hongjoong panting and squirming because the combination of sitting in his lap and getting such a passionate kiss was overwhelming. “So listen to me, baby. I was really just surprised, and I want you to sleep.”

+

Hongjoong had just showered, and now Seonghwa was between his legs. He had made the mistake of wearing nothing but his towel after. There had still been some drops of water on his dewy skin and it had pulled the other in flawlessly. He honestly hadn’t meant to.

“Puppy,” Seonghwa called, Hongjoong raised his face with rosy cheeks bloomed on them once more. The position was so suggestive, it made it so easy to do anything. “Can I suck you off, hm?”

“Uhm, well, I-” Hongjoong stammered, trying to avoid Seonghwa’s convincing eyes and ending up with his gaze pointed right at the ceiling, studying the simple white colour and the dents in the texture. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“I’ll be really gentle, okay?” The older promised, tracing his fingers over the inside of his thigh to feel the way it trembled under his touch, adoring the little squeal he got from Hongjoong. “I’ll make sure it feels good.”

“Don’t use your mouth, p-please,” He requested, almost sounding scared as he moved his gaze back to where Seonghwa’s head was hovering over his crotch. “Your hand is fine, b-but not your mouth.”

“Alright,” Seonghwa agreed, moving his hand up his leg, dipped under the towel and eventually stopping when he bumped against his crotch, wrapping his hand around it. “Pretty puppy, so so good for me.”

Hongjoong choked back a soft noise when Seonghwa started stroking him. He felt dizzy, out of place. It was like he wasn’t there, even though it was his body that was being touched. Everything felt like too much, yet it felt like nothing at all. 

“M-mommy,” He breathed, grabbing Seonghwa’s wrist to stop him, tears once again raised high in his eyes. “I can’t, p-puppy can’t.”

Seonghwa withdrew his hand, cupping his jaw instead and tutting at him softly, a gentle sound to coax him into calming down. “You don’t have to,” The older cooed, brushing his thumb over his cheek. “Mommy’s here to make you feel good, okay? Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

“I-it’s too much when mommy touches my puppy parts,” Hongjoong whimpered, curled into himself just a bit with embarrassment, shaking like a leaf so that Seonghwa couldn’t help but protectively stay close. “Don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, puppy,” Seonghwa shushed, helping him sit up just a little so his own presence wouldn’t be as intimidating. “Mommy’s sorry, he didn’t know the puppy felt like this, hm? You should’ve told me if you were uncomfortable.”

+

Their moments that didn’t contain much skinship were perfect for Hongjoong. As long as it wasn’t direct skin on skin contact he would be fine. If they were cuddled up in their pajamas he would take that perfectly fine, he could take the back hugs and light kisses pretty well now. 

Like when they were cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie as Hongjoong hid away in Seonghwa’s arms. Seonghwa kept sneaking the softest kisses to his exposed neck and instead of shivering at them like he used to he just giggled.

When the kisses stopped Hongjoong just assumed he was too lazy to do more, a bit sad because he was really enjoying the affection yet not wanting to force him into more. There was some shifting behind him and then Seonghwa’s voice was suddenly right in his ear. “Can I mark you, please?”

Hongjoong tensed up a little at the request, the breath fanning past his ear making him shiver like the older always used to. In an impulse, he nodded. He didn’t even think about it, just heard the words mark and please and got pulled in. 

Seonghwa’s lips attached themselves to the side of his neck, a spot that he wouldn’t be able to hide unless he used an excessive amount of make-up. He opened his mouth lightly and sucked on the skin, running his tongue over the part in his mouth. 

The older hummed against his neck and Hongjoong answered it with his own soft mewl. He turned his head to the side a little, exposing more of the skin as he let a soft breath flow out, relaxing his form. 

A hand creeped down his body until it cupped over his crotch, palming him gently through his pants. It was obvious that Seonghwa was testing if it was okay with how lightly he did it, Hongjoong clasping his own hand over his boyfriend’s and pushing it down with his own. 

He felt good. Now that they had been so close together all night and that he had been introduced with soft kisses and a light marking, it didn’t feel as overwhelming. “Please,” He whispered, moving his own hand back up while Seonghwa’s stayed on his crotch. “Please get me off, just like this.” 

Seonghwa just smiled, palming him with practiced perfection and mumbling against his neck sweetly. “My pretty puppy,” He repeated, like it was a sentence he’d practiced in front of the mirror and now finally dared to say. “You’re so fucking good for me.”

The curse sent a shiver down his spine, made him push his hips forward against his hand just a little in search for more stimulation. Seonghwa changed the position of his hand, moving from palming to stroking him through his pants.

Hongjoong was quite small in his size, a little embarrassed when on his first stroke Seonghwa went way higher than he needed to, his length already ended and just ending in a soothing stroke over his abdomen. “I-it’s not that big.” He whispered. 

It made Seonghwa groan, squeezing his member softly out of a natural response. “I’m so excited when you present yourself to me, baby,” Seonghwa gushed. “You’re not gonna be able to leave for hours, just because of me worshipping you.”

“M-mommy, please,” Hongjoong begged softly, his eyes closed and his body lax as he kept panting heavily. He couldn’t stop making noise, trying to repress them by holding his hand over his mouth yet still having them slip through. “Puppy needs to cum, really wanna cum.”

“Can you cum from this or do you need more?” Seonghwa wondered, still gentle and secure. He kept him close to make sure he wouldn’t feel alone, that he wouldn’t lose himself to his worries. “You can have anything you want.”

The younger turned his head until he could connect their lips, kissing him with desperate movements while Seonghwa responded as calm as he always was. Hongjoong whimpered against his lips in the most endearing way and Seonghwa just couldn’t find it in his heart to edge him. 

He could pinpoint when the exact moment he came. Hongjoong’s hips stuttered and he moaned into his mouth, the movements of his lips stopping as he could only breathe loudly as his closed eyes rolled back. 

“Good boy,” Seonghwa praised, pressing another kiss to his parted lips as a seal to what had happened. “You’re my good puppy, mommy’s proud of you.”

+

Sometimes touching was still hard for Hongjoong. There were times where the older would only have to do as much as brush his fingers over his arm and that would be too much. Seonghwa had learned how to calm him down better of time, though. 

It would be a while until they would be able to go all the way when it came to a sexual aspect. There was progress, but there was definitely a long way to go. 

They had managed to do some things, however, and it was always exciting for them. It would gain Hongjoong all the praise he could get and made Seonghwa feel good that his boyfriend felt safe enough to share such a thing with him. 

Like the first time he had seen Hongjoong’s cocklet and he thought it was the most adorable thing ever or the first time he got to put his fingers inside his pink hole and the younger couldn’t stop making noise. 

When Hongjoong had looked up what was wrong with him and made his skin itch, he had never expected this outcome, but there was truly nothing better he could wish for. Seonghwa was all he wanted, the love and care he gave him every single day. It was all he needed. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
